Birmingham, West Midlands, UK

#FridayFright- The Horror Dinner Party

Today my ghoulish fiends you are invited to a very special dinner party. Pull up a chair and try not to be too scared our guests are not your average kind but they promise not to put YOU on the menu! So there is me, you and hmmm we need 6 other gore loving guests to get this party started. Lets keep it strictly fictional horror characters. Move over 'Come Dine With Me' it is time for 'The Horror Dinner Party'!

First bloody ticket to the party goes out to the one and only Freddy Krueger (Nightmare On Elm Street). I am hoping he gets in early to help me dice up the cheese and pineapple, or you know everyone will straight up leave the party. Freddy brings the cheesy one liners which we all need at the dinner table when conversation dips. Phew for once he will be a life saver. Having been a maintenance man I am sure he could also help out with a bit of DIY around the house. I been meaning to fix that bathroom sink. Plus I hope he lets me borrow his jumper too. Being a dream invader he would have some tales to tell especially if he has been in any of mine!

To add a bit of glamour to the party we need some royalty. Queen Akasha (Queen Of The Damned) can represent the vampires. Not only is she beautiful and sophisticated but she is a kick-ass independent woman. She has been through history and could really give some decent girl advice. Wisdom and tradition all rolled up in a well dressed charm machine. She can use her vampire vixen ways to keep all the guests on their best behaviour. Like all good dinner guests she will take her food rare to really savour it. Although she can be a bit of a conversation killer when it doesn't go her way.  "I've had enough of this discussion. Join me or die!" We've all had a drink now calm down Queenie. 


Our next dinner guest would have no problem with a come back to that conversation stopper and would give Freddy a run for his money with one liners. The one and only Ash (Evil Dead). If he starts swinging the chainsaw about then he can use it to carve the dinner. All gotta pitch in at this party. He may be a bit arrogant but something about him just pulls it off and I think with the other guests he may just need it on his side. Plus he is funny and more of a hero than a villain at the table would help me feel a little bit more relaxed. Since he worked in S-Mart he could probably score some discounts or at least tell us some handy hints on getting some. "Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?" 


Next up is Troma's adorable monster hero Toxie (The Toxic Avenger). He is a full on darling and would bring some sweetness to this sour bunch to balance things back out. I would remind him that despite the bullies he came out better then them all in the end. I think I would probably have to quiz him about how awesome Llloyd Kaufman is too. He could compare burn treatments with Freddy, show Akasha that men can be sweet and hopefully give Ash some gentleman tips. I <3 the monster. 

Oh bloody hell Carrie (Carrie) have you spilt the red wine already? Blood? Oh errrm ok if I were you I wouldn't sit next to the Queen. Carrie is a bit shy and we already have a lot of dominating people at the table. I just want to give her a hug and show her that not everyone in the world is as horrible as they are in high school. Having only been invited to one other party anything that happens at this one has to be a winner for the lovely Carrie. Her mum can stay at home praying for all our souls because after spending and evening with these nutters it may just rub off on her. I think we could create a total monster. She also brings some crazy awesome Jedi mind skills literally to the table which if forget something or need her to pass the salt it is pure sorted. May need to stick her in the shower first though the smell of pigs blood could be a bit off putting and every girl deserves to feel like a princess. Akasha could give her some serious tips that her mum never did. 

Last but totally not the least the remaining gruesome ticket goes to the mad awesome Captain Spaulding (House  Of 1000 Corpses) because....clowns. Clowns make every party better plus he would totally bring chicken which may be needed when I burn the dinner keeping an eyeball on the other guests. Every clown should be like Captain Spaulding! A little bit scary but a bit cool and he keeps some interesting company and owns a freak show. I hope he brings pictures because even if he invites us I think it would be in our best interest to pass. "Howdy Folks! You like blood? Violence? Freaks of nature? Well then, come on down to Captain Spaulding's Museum of Monsters and Mad-Men. See the Alligator Boy, ride my famous Murder Ride. Most of all, don't forget to take home some of my tasty fried chicken! Ha ha! It just tastes so damn good! "

Well lets get on and enjoy the party we got room for another guest so who should it be?

Comments

  1. those cupcakes looks amazing, a little worrying to eat though. haha fab post :) xo

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  2. Scary party! I would have to invite Slender man to mine! And cry every time he came near.

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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  3. love those cupcakes! they're so cool

    from helen at thelovecatsinc.com

    ps. there's a cute Dahlia trench coat giveaway on my blog at the moment, click here!

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  4. Great list! Awesome combo of classics and slightly eclectic <3

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