Hey Kinksters,
If you ask me the only good thing the book "50 Shades Of Grey" did was open up more conversion into the mainstream around kinks. More specifically BDSM which for those who aren't familiar is the world of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. The book was super problematic in so many ways so don't use it as your basis of your BDSM knowledge get out there and learn more. Dating with kinks can be both fun and super stressful as you want to make sure that your partner is compatible when it comes to your desires as well as life plan or even just finding someone to explore with. With the conversation open the subject isn't so hard to approach anymore. If BDSM dating isn't for you I have plenty of fun dating ideas.
whether you;re an experienced femdom / mistress or a beginner BDSM isn't just about jumping in and taking control. There is a lot of respect, and knowledge needed before you enter into this kind of relationship with someone. The most important thing is consent and laying out an understanding of the things your partner does and doesn't like and taking the time to talk about how to explore these together. You need to be able to talk openly with your partners which helps to build the trust and respect needed.
First you need to do your research as a sub or a dom you need to be aware of how to be safe. Especially when using restraints it is vital to know how to do this safely. Learn how to use belts the correct way and how to tie knots and only be restrained by someone who knows how to do this safely. You have to be able to trust the person who dominates you or if you want to dominate someone else you must first earn their trust. Learn about the safety in mixing pain and pleasure and you will find the more you learn the more gratification you can create in a respectful kink relationship.
Another part in being safe is respecting each others limits and different styles of kink sometimes the best enjoyment comes from exploring someone else kinks and being open minded to new experiences. Make sure you always use safe words and pay close attention to the limits you have already discussed. Remember saying no to things you're really not into is always valid a true dom or sub will respect your choices.
A big thing that is really important for both parties is after care both physically and mentally. After an intense session the come down can be hard on both individuals and being there as emotional support is just as important as tending physical after effects like cuts and bruises. There can be a lot of anxiety around exploring new things and making sure your equip with the right tools for this job too is part of that relationship. Learn the best way to soothe after pain and create a care kit or routine. Again I can;t stress enough how important mutual respect and trust is within any relationship but especially in any where you will leave yourself so open and vulnerable.
Have you any tips for entering into the BDSM dating world?
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