Derbyshire, UK

Shy Dating And How To Overcome it

Hey Cats,

With all our talk of dating one boundary we haven't faced yet is what to do if you're painfully shy. So many people out there are just to shy to talk to people they like or even to other people and that can really put a stopper on dating sometimes. When you're shy the world can be a scarier place and I am going to give you some tips on how you can jump that hurdle and find yourself a lovely understanding date who will give you time to move at your own pace.

Try Online

Online dating is a fantastic place to dip your toe into the dating scene and from behind your chosen device you have no reason to be shy. It is a fab way to get used to chatting to lots of different kinds of people and will help grow your confidence massively. Getting to know people online first can often help make you feel more comfortable about possibly meeting them online but make sure you go at your own pace and build it up for example try talking online first then try Skype or and video chats. I would avoid giving out your number straight away it is easier to talk to people online at a slower pace because they can only chat to you when you're logged in so then you have plenty of time to have your own space and then jump back in. Some great sites you could try are West Midlands dating site, single women in Highlands, Dorset singles, Hertfordshire dating sites or dating Suffolk. There are thousands of dating sites to choose from now so you can even find them for specialised interests too and finding people who love the same things as you will help you feel more comfortable,

Fake it to make it 

When I used to run confidence classes the thing I found worked the best for the shyest people in the room was the mantra of 'fake it to make it'. This in no way means change who you are or be dishonest but more a mindset of if you push yourself to do things out of your comfort zone and tell yourself your not scared the person you just walked up to and said hi to will have no idea that you're shy at all and the more you do things that aren't in your comfort zone the more you will believe in yourself and suddenly you will have made it and you wont even feel too shy anymore, It sounds like a huge hurdle right now if you're super shy right? Nobody expects you to suddenly run up to that person at work you have a crush on it is all about baby steps. Try saying hi to the post man or thank you a little louder to the bus driver the more you talk to people the easier it gets I can promise you that.

Be You

You may be shy but that isn't who you are and doesn't define you. It is OK to be shy and be proud of that but aside from that you are so much more so simply just be yourself. Talk about the things you love and don't try too hard to be someone you think that person wants you to be. Often if you are honest and open you will meet someone who doesn't mind that your shy you can even tell them so and if they are willing to wait and take the time then they are worth it but just make sure you meet them halfway and don't let being shy stop them from getting to meet your awesome self for a date.

For all those who aren't shy there are lots of no strings dating options too.

Are you shy do you have any advice?



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