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My First Glossy Box

I finally caved and decided to sign up to Glossybox. With so many of these beauty subscription boxes flying around I really wasn't sure which one was the best but a lovely beauty blogger on twitter suggested that I go with Glossybox I took her advice.

My first impression when I saw the box was Wow this pretty.They definitely put a lot of effort into good presentation. All ribbons and tissue I felt like I was unwrapping presents.

In the box I got. 

I was excited to get the Juicy Couture perfume samples especially as I had seen a lot of people get fake tan samples. I am so not about tanning and love juicy. 2 handy handbag samples which I will try out and let you know all  about. 

Mitchell and Peach Body cream a fairly big sample size, Sleek Make Up pout polish (full size),  Bellapierre Cosmetics Shimmer powder (full size) and a Dove hair therapy mask.I want to have a play around with the products before I honestly tell you what I think of them but I am fairly impressed with Glossy box so far.Lets see what next month brings to see if it really is value for money.

Do You subscribe to any beauty boxes? What has been your best find in a box?

Accessories With Hannah

Hello you lovely lot :) I hope you have all been enjoying the sunshine.

Today I want to talk to you about the amazing Hannah over at fabulouslyfatfashion. Not only is she fierce and cute as on the outside but she is rocking the sweetest golden heart. She will be shaving off all her lovely hair for charity.  To raise awareness we are talking accessories.

So I am taking this chance to show off this cute little hat I picked up in H&M for £7.99

Here is what she has to say ...

"I have decided that I want to shave my hair off for charity because honestly, I'm not fit enough to run a marathon, I'm too chicken to do a boxing day dip and I'm too lazy to do a sponsored clean!
I currently work for Cleveland College Of Art & Design as Students' Union President and we have been working with the lovely people over at Hartlepool Families First since September on bits and pieces, but now I want to do something really big and really help an amazing charity out who do so much for the local community. I wish I could explain to you all the amazing work that HFF do, but honestly they do so much I'd be writing forever! However here are a few of the amazing things they do. 

They empower the deaf community by putting on health related and social activities. They offer a health bus service to monitor peoples lives and help them to not develop long term conditions. They have a special needs home support scheme to support parents/carers and even offer specialist and stimulating toys and play equipment. They offer one to one support for young adults and children with behavioural issues and additional needs such as autism. There are so many other amazing things that they do, but I would be listing them all day!

So with that in mind, I'm going to cut off my precious hair! Those who know me know how vain I am (not a day goes by without a selfie) and so this is going to be a huge step for me, which is why I'm asking for your support to raise as much money as I possibly can for such a brilliant charity! To donate, visithttp://www.justgiving.com/hannahboal or text HCUT88 £ (then any amount from 1-10) to 70070!
Thank you,"

For my regular readers you will know I am passionate about community and charity work. I have donated so please even if it is just a pound help Hannah reach her target. Good luck Hannah You have my support

xxx

Welcome To #FridayFright

If you're a fan of things that go bump in the night then you're going to just love #FridayFright. Being a lover of all things gore and always looking for the next scare horror is a big part of who I am. I started in film making through horror. I was that girl who instead of screaming when someone had their guts pulled out by zombies, I wanted to know how they did it. I have spend many a geeky day mixing up fake blood and reveled in Halloween. I even ran a Halloween film festival which you can read all about here.

I am not the only one in the blogging world with the love of horror and that is when me, Roxanne and Adam all got chatting about doing a horror link up. Really we just wanted an excuse to watch lots of horror and geek out. So we bring to you #FridayFright. Every fortnight we will be posting a #FridayFright along a theme. We will link in each others blogs and you lucky readers will get the chance to squirm and squeal in your seats as we unleash the world of horror.

So keep an eye out next week for the first linked up #FridayFright

Red Fang Come To Birmingham

I hadn't been to a gig in ages so when I got asked to go see Red Fang I was like HELL YEAH. I have only started listening to Red Fang recently so figured it could be fun to see what they were like live. If you haven't heard them yet this is my favourite track by them.


 I have been to the HMV Birmingham Institute a few times. Both back when it was the Sanctuary and now as HMV. I really like this venue it has lots of rooms and all of them are intimate. Red Fang were playing in the top room which is one of the smaller rooms but still roomy enough not be be squashed together like sardines. Although with all the beards in the room I am not so sure I would have minded ;)
Lord Dying
I had been so busy chatting in the pub that we arrived just in time to catch most of  Lord Dying's set. I hadn't been expecting much from the support bands but was pleasantly surprised by these guys. All the way from Portland Oregon not just all hair and beards. These guys brought some seriously sludgy metal to the stage. Riffs that won my heart and screaming growly bear like vocals. They remind me of everything I love about metal. If all Portland's doom metal bands are like this I am packing my case and moving there right now!
The Shrine
Next up with curls to die for and more killer beard were The Shrine Seriously I was in beard heaven. Another band I hadn't heard before but after Lord Dying my hopes were high. This Californian band had so much stage presence that I could feel it even from the back corner. Trust me ladies and gents a bad place to be a few drinks in when the bands are full swing and you need to pee. I was trying to chat with a bearded hottie though as well as listen to the bands but when the shrine came on I was silenced! Amazing guitar solos swinging them around like it was the easiest thing to do in the world, fast pounding crazy drums and some serious bass these guys didn't just make me love the band they made me want to be in the band. The front man had real presence and we met him briefly after the show and he was a pretty cool guy. Check these guys out you wont be disappointed.Either of the support bands could easily have been headliners the quality was so high.
Red Fang
Suddenly it was time for the almighty Red Fang. When I listen to Red Fang I feel like I have been transported into a Portland garage for some beer fueled beautiful sludgy stoner metal. Something about their music still has a cheery twang to it though and winds up in your head so you get a bit addicted and have to listen again. Live they were no different. They put on a great show the crowd were going mental and they left everyone hanging to hear their most popular track 'Prehistoric Dog'. You just can't help but dance to these guys even the most miserable looking men in the room were rocking out. You always know a good gig when you look at the time and it feels like the blink of an eye but it has been hours. It all felt like it was over too fast and considering I went to this gig with no expectations I came out smiling and wanting to hear more.

Have you heard any of these bands? What was the last gig you went to?

#100happydays update #3

I haven't doe one for a while but am almost half way through #100happydays check out #1 and #2 as well :)


Day 20

AFI lyrics - Listening to music on the way to work always cheers me up and today it was Miss Murder by AFI an awesome band that I have remained listening to since I was a teenager.

Day 21

I went on a date with a lovely blacksmith. He had remembered that I said I like pigs and made me this. I thought it was the sweetest thing ever as I am a sucker for handmade gifts. Sadly the gift outlasted the man but hey we will talk about my awful dating luck some other time ;)

Day 22

The tweet says it all I miss this American grrrrl she always makes me laugh.













Day 23

Simple pleasures at work a cup of tea and some biscuits. Who doesn't love tea. I obviously like biscuits too much. This mug also makes me smile.

Day 24

Evening sushi with my wifey. Happy because I love sushi and catching up with my lovely mate who I do not get to see nearly enough.

Day 25

This picture is hilarious to a handful of people who were at this epic breakfast when we were just 15. This represents that I went out for catch up drinks with my lovely friend Rachel and she brought this out. I couldn't stop laughing as these days hold so many funny house party memories for us.

Day 26

Staying at my folks house and getting breakfast in bed. MMM crumpets. what do you call them? How do you have yours?

Day 27

Spending the day with my Mama charity shopping and buying these cute things. I am a little addicted to buying dodgy ornaments as it reminds me of my Nana.

Day 28

Watching Wales play rugby with my dad and the king of kicks Mr Leigh Halfpenny himself. What a player and proper cute too. I love watching the rugby especially when Wales are playing <3

Day 29

I am a bit of a sucker for these positive messages and really do believe that if we surround ourselves by them and remind ourselves that we are amazing then our self love journey will be a lot more successful. That goes for you lot too!
Day 30

I was feeling mega cute in my new cat tshirt and ears rocking 90s buns so it put a big smile on my face to be a super 90s cat lady. Sounds like some kind of superhero.






Day 31
Even thought I found out they are actors I still think this is beautiful



What makes you happy? Find one thing that makes you happy today and let me know what it is!

The Birthday Celebrations

This time last year I was just coming back from Berlin. I really thought this birthday was going to suck in comparison. Turning 31 pretty much blows but I actually spent the whole evening laughing until my tummy hurt.

My Mama bought me the most awesome sailor dress.
Present from my Mama

I had been lusting after flower crowns for ages so went on a bit of a mission to buy some and came back with these beauties.
Top one and bottom 2 from new look and the second is Primark
I have gone a bit spending crazy lately so have a haul post coming up about other amazing things I have picked up.

So I was meeting my mates for drinks and then dancing at the local rock club.
The crew
What I wore (sorry I didn't manage to get a proper picture) I felt like a cross between a sailor and a mermaid. I genuinely felt really pretty. Love this dress and the big pockets too.

Me and the lovely Laura
I danced all night my poor feet hurt like crazy. Note to self remember to test out new shoes first. They are cute though aren't they? Usually a size 6 but had to get these in a 7 as they are fairly narrow.
Primark (excuse the mud ha this was after the night out)

Active Citizen Guide To Birmingham Part Two

There are so many amazing services helping people in and around Birmingham. Part of showing Active Citizens around our community is helping them learn about how we work to help people in the community. If you followed my Sri Lanka adventures you would have read about my visit to a school and also about a big march I went on.So this was my big chance to introduce them to some services that I think are doing awesome jobs in the city.

BAYC team 

Birmingham Association Youth Clubs are someone #TeamYTV work with a lot and due to being a youth organisation we really wanted to show some of the great youth service and BAYC can give a massive overview of them all. They got to experience a mini workshop and meet a young entrepreneur. The CEO gave the group lots of great networking tips on how to interact with other organisations and more importantly how to stay remembered.
SIFA Fireside

Next we rushed off to visit Sifa Fireside. I was eager to show the group work done in the city to help homeless people. In my travels I have found homelessness is something that is treated differently in each other county and with the rise in homelessness in the UK it is something I wanted to show we are trying to help people out of. Sifa Fireside are doing amazing work in Birmingham. This Digbeth based charity not only provides a hot meal but also many more needed services. Service users can access hot showers, laundry facilities, they can see a dentist, doctor and nurse, learn new skills, talk to counsellors and really have a space to come where they can see that someone really cares about them. The walls are adorned with beautiful graffiti from Birmingham Artists and the service users have added some big birds to the walls. In all the little rooms is the art work of service users which I thought was a lovely touch.
Some of the great musical and arts available at SIFA Fireside

I took the group for a proper English lunch of fish and chips at Big Johns which is super popular in Birmingham and has really good fish and chips for a decent price. They loved it and said they had been dying to try fish and chips and now they could go home and say they had tried fish and chips in England. It is funny how people still see fish and chips as a big part of the UK.

Last but not least of the services that we visited is the ARK project in Selly Oak. The name stands for Acts of Random Kindness. ARK started as a food bank that helped people who had stumbled upon unfortunate times. They have since grown to not old give food and toiletry parcels but also clothes, toys and offer an amazing drop in service which gives much needed support in the community. Jess who runs ARK is a very warm and inviting woman who really has a passion for helping people. I love what this company does and they helped so many of my clients when I was a Refugee Tenancy Support Worker. They also gave us the most amazing cake.
Clothing bank at ARK

To wrap up the day we couldn't let the group come to Birmingham and not take them to the famous Balti Triangle. We had prize winning balti and stuffed our faces. If you haven't been to the Balti triangle is a triangle of restaurants and shops filled with culture.

Big dinner at Balti Triangle

Those Cosmo Questions- Answers Of A Fat Grrrl

I have really enjoyed reading all the answers I have been reading to these questions and thought it only fair that I give mine after so many ladies have been open and honest. I managed to avoid the actual article as I don't read magazines. I hate all the body shaming, celebrity obsessed, sister hating propaganda so I refuse to buy into it. Especially when I can read about what real think on blogs. I know I am a bit late but I kind of ummmed and ahhhhed about answering at all but I was kind of interested to know myself.

How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat around you?
I work with young people so this happens like all the time. It just concerns me because the young girls and boys I work with are experiencing a lot of peer pressure around them as we a media company and they can sometimes get lost in the image. I got a bit concerned hearing it all the time so we do a lot of focus groups around body image and have done a project which we want to expand. I want to help teach them that Fat is not a bad thing. Not to compare themselves to others all the time and that everyone is beautiful in their own way.

How has your body image changed since high school/college?
I had the fortune of finding riot grrrl in secondary school right when I was starting to hate on myself for being bigger than everyone else I opened up the magical pages of fanzines and came across 'riots not diets'. The words of bikini kill and lunachicks taught me it was ridiculous to conform to a stereotypical vision of beauty. I am not going to say everything was perfect I still wore grungy band tshirts, big shoes and ripped tights but I was very confident. I didn't really get it when boys were into me but that was more down to being a bit socially awkward and spending too much time in an all girls school.

Have you tried dieting? What happened?
Yes big time! My Mama took me to a dietitian from a young age but hey that didn't work out. I went to slimming world and actually really enjoyed it there but why should I have to pay £5 a week to be shamed when I don't lose a pound?

Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic?
I do have Polycystic ovary syndrome which is known to make women retain weight along with other lovely side effects. So I do put on weight just by sniffing a chocolate bar and have a lot of extra trouble shifting it if i want to. I have grown up around women dieting but I think some is definitely down to myself and a comfort eating habit.

Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instances when people have assumed you were unhealthy?
Ummm haha lets be honest. No. I do actually need to be a bit healthier lately I have been off the rails. Usually I love to dance, zumba like I know what I am doing, I walk loads and I really enjoy sports so was thinking of taking up something because it is an awesome stress relief for me. I used to ride horses in competitions when I was younger and actually get smirks when I tell people that now.

Are your parents supportive of the weight you are? Have they always been?
Growing up they were actually really shitty about it. The whole "You will never find a boyfriend like that" and so forth but these days my Ma is pretty fucking awesome. She encourages me to wear nice things and not give a crap about what others think as I think she realised that growing up she wasn't all that nice about it.My dad still makes jabs at me but he thinks he is being funny.

How do you think retailers could improve clothes for plus sized people?
Just because I am plus sized doesn't mean my pocket is. So please stop charging stupid prices. I seem to see the plus sized sections shrinking and I hate having to roam to the back to the limited selection especially after walking past a million cute dresses along the way. Just start making bigger sizes of the same clothes.It isn't that hard? I just want to be able to walk into a shop rather than always having to jump online 2 weeks before I even plan to wear the outfit. Saying that things are defiantly improving. Clothes are getting sassier, more fashionable and defiantly a lot cuter. Someone please make affordable alternative plus sized wear though instead of me having to jump on the dire 'rock chick' selection.

Do you think plus sized women are judged differently to plus sized men? How?
I genuinely think there is just as much pressure on men now too. Well at least among young men.They are taught they need to "get down the gym and get hench". They get more physically picked on and treated like it is cool to knock them calling them childish names. Among the older generation there is more stick on women needing to be thinner.

Do you think that there is an assumption made/stereotypes that exist about plus sized people? How do you respond to that?
People think that all we do is sit around scoffing chocolate and don't care about how we look because we have "let ourselves go". I also hate the assumption that nobody could possibly be romantically interested in us unless they have some kind of weird fetish. In fact that some people seem to think that being fat means you are not a valid human being. How shallow the world can be and how many amazing people they miss out on meeting and learning from.

Do you think there is ever a right way/time to express concern about someones weight?
This is a difficult one. I guess it comes down to health. If health wise the persons weight is really stopping them from doing daily things such as walk around and breath or just generally enjoy life then yes. Otherwise no who are you to judge.

What's the worst things people have said to you about your weight?
I had a boyfriend who refused to sleep with me because he said I was "too big" he soon got dumped. It wasn't even just about weight it was how he spoke about the situation and generally made me feel awful. He actually said he would not be with me unless I lost some weight.

How did you respond?
I proceeded to ask him if I had been in a car accident and lost a leg would he still be with me. His answer was no and the rest is history.

What have people said or do you wish they would say to compliment your body/appearance?
I genuinely get lots of varied compliments. I have had boyfriends who unlike the previous have told me they love every part of me that I hate, girls who run up to me to tell me they love my style and ask where I got my dress, people go crazy for my eyes and I always get a lot of compliments on my smile.

Do you find yourself hanging out with women who are closer to your size?
I have friends of all shapes and sizes and I love them all. I have friends who have been fat and are now small and strive to stay that way. I have friends who have never been big but never been nothing but amazing to me telling me how beautiful I am all the time. I really am blessed with the best  friends. It would be nice to know some more plus sized hunnies for shopping trips without feeling I am dragging my mates into the depressing world of plus size high street fashion. So I have been speaking to lots of amazing bloggers :)

How has your weight affected your sex life if at all?
90% of the time it doesn't however recently when working away there were some things I couldn't take part in like horse riding and caving.... Lord no am I squeezing my fat ass into a tight cave that is just asking for some kind of comedy sketch show. Thankfully I was a prize horse rider when I was younger so I have had that experience and I do miss it. Caving I would hate anyway it makes me shudder just thinking of those tight spaces leading to who knows where.

When you've been single has your weight affected your dating life?
I am single and no not at all. I have plenty of men who show interest in me. After the horrible boyfriend it did make me more cautious about dating and had a big dent on my confidence for sometime but I seem to be doing ok. I am a terrible dater though.

Do you feel weird if a guy you're with only dates larger women?
No everyone has a preference so long as it is not a 'fetish' No feeders please. I guess in a way it makes me feel more comfortable if he has been with a bigger women before.

Do you feel weird if he has only dated  slimmer women before?
No he is with me now right? I guess at first I would feel nervous getting naked but doesn't everyone feel like that the first time they get naked with someone they really like?

You can read the other bloggers' responses here...





The Lady Has Gone Gaga #LadyGaga

I have always admired Lady Gaga's flamboyancy and would even go as far as to call her work artistic. She genuinely has a lot of talent. Even I can't resist singing along to her tunes when I hear them. I have always admired that she is outrageous in a mainstream world and seen her as being very pro body image. She is without a doubt  very loyal and outspoken to/for her fans encouraging them to be themselves. Sounds like a great role model, don't you think?

If you follow me on Facebook (If not why not? Go here...phew all better) then you will have noticed that I posted an article about Lady Gaga's recent stage performance. In which during the show she has a performance artist voluntary vomit all over her. The proceed to scissor on a mechanical bull while Millie vomits some more. Footage can be seen below. 
I have no issue with the scissoring and the womanly love being shown my question to you is about the puke. Is it art or is Lady Gaga in fact glamourizing bulimia? Having openly admitted having an eating disorder herself she has opened out to a world of girls/women/boys/men around the world who are suffering from eating disorders and body image issues. Does this then not make her fans more vulnerable to seeing this as a glamourization rather than a piece of art?
It can be argued that Millie Brown is a performance artist and Gaga is supporting an independent artist on the scene as an admirer of the arts but does she in this hold a degree of responsibility towards her fans? I would love to know what you think so click vote on the poll and comment below about how you feel.
Art or Glamourization of eating disorders?


  
pollcode.com free polls 

I Feel Good #2

It's that time again. As I told you before back in the first post this  is a challenge put together by the beautiful Vicky from The Curved Opinion. This is all about just feeling good. That day when you get ready for no special reason and just feel great. Capture that moment in a picture and join us.
No reason at all other than I was just feeling good at work so bust out a selfie in my snugly cardigan that gets over worn in the freezing studio. If you follow me on Instagram you would have already seen this one. 

Catch the other beauts at ....

Sometimes I feel Like I Should Just Move Into Primark

Last weekend I went shopping with my Mama. Now mothers are meant to stop you spending too much. Mine is the opposite she encourages me to buy more. We have a tradition of checking out all the charity shops. I love checking out all the old books but I have to admit I kind of have a brick a brak addiction. If it is cute and useless I kind of have to have it. Here is what I picked up this time.

Everything was just 50p and just too cute! Every day I get closer to being and old lady. Next stop Primarni I only meant to go in to see if I could get the midi tube skirt in purple. Everywhere I go they only have size 8. Yes Birmingham Primark I am looking at you. Sot your sizing out I always have to dig deep. West bromwich Prrimark is always nice and easy to get around and well stocked but even they didn't have it in purple so I got another black one. I love this skirt I have it in a few colours. 

I am also loving the Tshirts in stock at the moment. I am a sucker for nostalgia and cute prints so picked these up. They were only £5-6
I love Jurassic park total Dino Geek and Turtle power

cute ice creams and who can resist a 90s kitten?
These Disney prints tho <3
There are some majorly cute mix and match Pjs as well bottoms were £5 and the tops were £5. All these fivers are adding up in my basket.
Robot print. I would wear this top anyway ha

Cute colourful cassette tapes and hugging pandas
I had my eye on the mini satchels for some time but I didn't really like the pastel colours. I am a polka dot fiend so when I saw this polka one for £6 it went right into the basket. I love backpacks and this cute tartan one will look awesome with some badges and a cute jacket in the summer for £5 who can complain?

Loads of knickers were on sale for a bargain £1 and there were some lovely pairs. 
Lace trim is always a cute finish

Love these boy shorts and the little pocket at the front
Then lots of random accessories. The leopard print sunglasses even came with a little bag.They were only £2, both pair of glasses were just £1 each, This huge statement necklace matches some other accessories I have and was £5. The slipper socks were from a pound shop as was the turquoise mascara.




UNICEF Tap Project

I recently stumbled upon this great project that UNICEF are doing right now. As you know I am very passionate about social action and doing anything we can to help other people around the world. There is a way you can help too without even costing you a penny. Unless you want to donate which would be great.I haven't been asked to do this post I just believe in helping where ever we can little actions have big impact.

It is hard to believe that still today children and vulnerable people living in poverty still go without clean safe water. This has a huge impact on the community. Not only can it cause death but for the areas where there is water at a Far walking distance injuries are on the rise for young girls who have to miss school to get water for their family.

All you have to do is step away from your phone for at least 10 minutes. Come on now I heard you gasp in horror 10 minutes isn't so bad and I am a phone addict. 10 minutes flies by and even if you do it just once it costs you nothing and you help give safe water for just one day. There are a ton of lovely things you can do in 10 minutes (or more)
  • Take a bath
  • Do your Nails
  • Read a book
  • Spend 10 minutes educating yourself about water problems around the world. 
Seem a little bit too good to be true? The sponsors will be doing the donating for you. You do get the option to make a donation yourself but you can choose not too and keep building up the sponsor donations. Either log into      on your phone or even get the app (I find the app works better) and get saving the world ;) I have been doing it whenever I am away from my phone. 



What would you do in your 10 minutes?

Miss Representation #MissRep

I just finished watching Miss Representation and have to say as a woman working in the media industry in management position it speaks volumes to me. I had known about this documentary for a while and am actually really sad I missed it in the cinema as that meant it got sidetracked onto my 'To Watch' list which gets bigger every minute. If you are not a woman working in media do not be put off by my statement this film is a much watch for EVERYONE. For my male readers I urge you to at least read the rest of this post before you brush it off as just a women's issue. 

On a whole the documentary is focused on America and how the representation of women in the media can have an impact on women in leadership The documentary talks about the mass consumption of media by both men and women daily. I particularly encourage those who say they think the media has no impact on them at all to give this a watch as they do a great job of outlining the consumption and images that get shoved in the  face of thepublic every day. Working with young people I think this is something I became very aware of I boycott a majority of 'women s' magazines because I am not interested in the fat shaming of celebrities or who is dating who. Yes I love style and fashion but if you are not prepared to present me with real un-photoshopped pictures then I will read the amazing blogs from real people out there instead. 



This perception that is put out in the media rarely reflects the real feeling of men and women around the world. Yet media has the power to convince the same men and women that these are the ideals of all the other people in the world and present us with imagery of "what men really want" and what we all want to watch and see on our screens. If you read my blog it is a safe assumption that man or woman you are open minded to the fact that we are all different and unique and this should be reflected in the media more. The people of the world who feel that women shouldn't be in strong female leading roles that don't mean wearing just her underwear and the ones that have suffered the wrath of the media the most and this is why it is important we educate girls and boys from a young age. The images in the media have an impact on men as well as women and the great thing about this film unlike most feminist films it openly talks about the pressures men are facing too.

So how does this impact women in leadership roles? If women are badly represented in media and always sexualised how are they meant to be taken seriously in powerful roles. When the first question about a woman who gives a powerful speech is "did you see what she was wearing?" then how can we honestly say women are being taken as seriously as men? There is nothing wrong with an avid interest in fashion and beauty but why should a woman's appearance always be on attack. The documentary covers this conversation from the angle of women who reject femininity and those who embrace it in powerful roles and how society react to them.

So much more is covered and it honestly is a must see. Here is the trailer...

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Have you seen it already? What did you think? If you watch come back and let me know :)